Definition

1. Verb:
   • To have the heart (to do something): To be willing or able to do something, typically something unpleasant, harsh, or against one's natural feelings of compassion. It is most commonly used in the negative form "không nỡ" (to not have the heart to).
   • To bear/have the heart to: To find it within oneself to perform an action that causes distress to oneself or others.

Usage Examples

• Verb:
  • Tôi không nỡ nhìn cảnh đó. (I don't have the heart to look at that scene.)
  • Anh ấy không nỡ từ chối lời cầu xin của đứa trẻ. (He didn't have the heart to refuse the child's plea.)
  • "Ép dầu ép mỡ, ai nỡ ép duyên." (You can press oil and fat, but who has the heart to force a marriage?) – (Proverb)
  • Cô ấy không nỡ bỏ con mèo hoang ngoài đường. (She couldn't bear to leave the stray cat on the street.)

Advanced Usage

• "Nỡ lòng nào": How could one have the heart to...? (A rhetorical question expressing that one should not have the heart to do something).

  • Nỡ lòng nào mà bỏ nó một mình? (How could you have the heart to leave it alone?)

• "Đành lòng" vs. "Nỡ lòng": While both relate to resolution, "đành lòng" means to resign oneself to a necessary but regrettable action ("I had to accept it"), whereas "nỡ lòng" focuses on the cruelty or harshness of the action itself ("How could I be so heartless?").

Variants and Related Words

• Nỡ lòng (phrase): To harden one's heart, to be heartless enough (to do something). Often used in negative or interrogative constructions.

  • Sao anh nỡ lòng làm vậy? (How could you be so heartless as to do that?)

• Thương (verb): To love, to pity. Often provides the emotional context that makes an action "không nỡ" (unbearable).

  • Vì thương nó, tôi không nỡ mắng. (Because I love/pity him, I don't have the heart to scold him.)

Synonyms

• Đành (verb): To resign oneself to, to accept (often reluctantly). Implies a forced acceptance rather than the emotional capacity to inflict pain.
• Cam tâm (verb): To be resigned to, to accept willingly (often a negative situation). Focuses on internal acceptance.

Related Phrases (Phrasal Verbs)

• Nỡ bỏ (phrase): To have the heart to abandon.
  • Cha mẹ không nỡ bỏ con. (Parents cannot bear to abandon their child.)
• Nỡ làm (phrase): To have the heart to do/make.
  • Tôi không nỡ làm nó buồn. (I don't have the heart to make him sad.)

Related Idioms

• "Ép dầu ép mỡ, ai nỡ ép duyên.": A proverb meaning you can force material things (like oil from seeds), but you cannot and should not force matters of the heart (like marriage). It perfectly encapsulates the core meaning of "nỡ" as relating to compassion and natural human feeling.

1. Have the heart tọ
   • ép dầu ép mở ai nở ép duyên (tục ngữ)
     Oil and fat may be forced out (of seeds and greaves), but no one has the heart to force a marriage (on a girl)